Here's To You, Mrs. Rodriguez

"I'm in love with someone else," said the 30-something I was flirting with at the bar. I'd met her about a year ago and we'd almost done our thing months prior when she was in town, but she didn't want our first experience to be in the car. So I admitted, "that's OK, I'm in love with someone else too." She leaned in for the kiss and when I opened my eyes deep in her embrace, it must have been profound because a young 20-something behind her wouldn't stop staring at me for the rest of the night. She continued, "I do love him but I just feel this attraction, this strong desire to be with you. Your touch. Your kiss. I want to know what it's like to be with you, if you're as good as I think you will be. Then we can go back to being friends with no revisiting." I felt the same yearning and now our shared romantic failures gave us an even stronger connection. I had invited a mutual friend, hoping to prevent this inevitability, but the friend forgot her ID then locked herself out and the bouncers were fresh from Bouncer School and wouldn't let anyone on the guest list in despite the monsoon weather. So as we disappeared around the corner into a local dive, it became apparent that even God wanted us to fuck. So I looked at her knowingly and asked her what she wanted to do. She took a moment, purred, and whispered, "let's go to your place". How I love older women. Everyone wants their new relationship to be their last, but age seems to bring the experience of knowing that not every new person you meet is going to be happily ever after. Hopefully, at the least, it’s a shared experience that gets both people closer to happiness and the possibility of being with that one person that will love them unconditionally. The youth are in a rush to find love, to find their soulmate. They want every new person they meet to be the one, becoming so impatient that they miss great opportunities because they look too hard, thinking they know the way when they don't even understand themselves. It’s a common notion that many 20-somethings, especially the younger variety, are only good for sex. They often say they want someone great, but then don’t have a clue how to land or keep him. It’s that phase of self-destructive behavior they go through with an innate propensity for pushing away nice, decent men in favor of guys who end up treating them badly, just so they can get their way. Ultimately, they're immature and insecure, maintaining expectations on how a man should behave yet often don’t know how to treat one in return. Maturity isn’t always measured in actions; it’s a comfort level a person reaches that comes across in their presence and demeanor, reflecting their state of mind and well-being. If women are like wine and only get better with age, then 20-somethings are freshly corked and despite the pretty packaging, you learn to leave them alone because they’re often too bitter and sour to buy. The biggest asset 20-somethings have is their physical appearance. They’re attractive, but really it’s due to luck and since they haven’t earned it, I personally refuse to call them beautiful. Only the best learn and grow into themselves to become beautiful. Besides, many 20-somethings seem to still be going through relationship puberty. They’re not entirely over the abuse they suffered in past relationships and some haven’t even recovered from their teen relationships when they chose to get involved before properly developing themselves as individuals. If you can't make yourself happy, then how can you expect someone else to make you happy? It’s no guarantee, but I’ve found 30-somethings tend to come across as more direct, honest and straightforward with what they want and expect in a relationship and what is deemed acceptable behavior. Having weathered life experiences, they seem to have learned not to expect the moon and are often more accepting and willing to compromise if they decide to get involved. Those that took care of what they were blessed with are truly beautiful whereas their careless counterparts fell by the wayside having aged poorly. In my experiences, many 30-somethings have that true calm, poise, and maturity about them that most 20-somethings fake. It's like comparing boys and men or store sized and tailored clothes, once you experience the quality of a real woman, you wonder why you bothered to waste your time all along. I fondly remember my time with the Brasilian because she gave me the space and freedom to be my individual self but outlined what I needed to do to keep her happy and loving me. Nothing was ever harder than it needed to be. But she preferred no kids and having 38 years, that window was closing for her if I wanted them. I could handle kids well if I had them, but I am at least 5 years away from wanting any. Besides, my longest relationship is 1 month shy of 3 years so I can’t picture marriage or starting a family without first passing that milestone. 20-somethings don’t have a limited window in starting a family, which is a sizeable advantage over their 30-something counterparts. If it wasn't for that or if I could accept not having kids, I swear I would never date a woman in her 20's ever again.