Narcissistic Sex in the City

I took a trip down VOD lane to watch the ever popular show turned movies that any contemporary heterosexual man needs to be aware of these days, especially one living in NYC: Sex and the City. I had an ex who swore by the franchise but I'm not a regular or even a fan. Yet legions of female friends and acquaintances alike seem to follow it and discuss its points, plots, and characters. I can't deny that at times there are great points made, but I must say the more I watch it, the more disenfranchised I become with dating and the values it promotes. Many women out there seem to idolize it, and as art imitates life or perhaps life imitates art, I can draw parallels with it and my dating experiences in NYC. The movie sequel in particular had me cringing at times at the audacity of the characters and writer's portrayal of women. While I did like the conversation about how tough it is to be a mother, I then quickly hated that they were relieved to have nannies as if all women can relate. I'm aware that some women would love to get married so they can stop working and just be wined, dined, catered to, and pampered all day long as if that's the good life. But how can you claim to be a housewife and take care of the kids when you hire a nanny? I can't stand these "lazy" types and have significantly greater interest in and respect for a woman with her own goals and ambitions, like my mother who worked nights while raising 3 kids and even went back to college to earn her degree and advance her career. The movie was over the top ridiculous, as was the disrobing of the Muslim women to think women everywhere thoroughly embrace American ideals and western notions of fashion and beauty. Maybe it is that way and I'm the only one who thinks Louis Vuitton logo bags and Burberry plaid are the worst 2 designs on the planet. Then again, perhaps that explains why only 1 of the past 8 women I've been involved with was born on American soil. These characters obsess over the latest fashion, restaurants, hot spots, and every cute guy and what he could do for her. Don't these women have any real hobbies? They come across as largely superficial and mostly devoid of any real values or significance in their lives because they only care about themselves and those people who do things for them. In the sequel, Carrie creates this beautiful apartment filling it with stuff thinking that it will bring her happiness just like that hot pair of Manolo's and Louboutin's. Material comforts don't bring true happiness because they require more and greater materialism to get your fix. But then I guess that's America, the land of the privileged, rich, and entitled with a growing separation between the haves and have nots. In the Sex and the City influenced real world, your choices of women consist of the Carries - self-absorbed and in need of a large dose of humble pie, the Mirandas - career minded and always putting herself first and in need of a priority readjustment, the Charlottes - detached from reality and living in her own universe, and the Samanthas - unable to commit to anything long term of deeper substance but then at least she's up front about it. I can't deny their worth as women, but excuse me if I choose amongst those to remain single because I'd rather be single than deal with their psychoses. Even though it's not right, I can understand why men would behave badly with these women. While I do like the inclusion that some of these women have careers and can support themselves, the more narcissistic ones, Carrie and Charlotte, wouldn't be enjoying their lifestyles without the earning potential they married into. There seems to be a growing prevalence of this narcissistic behavior and sense of entitlement that women feel they deserve to be wined and dined 24/7 and jetted off to foreign lands with all expenses paid, but then few women do the necessary things to create that lifestyle themselves and instead decide to fuck, date, and marry into it. So the false perception propagates creating distorted realities of how a man should court a woman encouraging gold diggers abound. After all, that's the way things should be with a real man, freely given with immediate gratification instead of working for and earning it. Real long-term relationships don't consist of 24/7 wining and dining without the woman contributing to the cause. But that's rarely seen because they never show whose credit card is used or what transpires during typical nights in because very few people in NYC or the rest of the world can afford to eat out every single night. I remember a woman I dated complained that she encouraged her man to buy a Porsche only for him to break things off so she never got to ride in it. If a woman wants to be "treated as she deserves", then I think she should be able to pay for it all herself before she can expect it or ask for it. Still, it seems female after female wants to have the latest and greatest bought for them and embrace anyone who can take care of them and give them the lifestyle they crave. Ultimately, it's all about me and you can go to hell if you're not going to bend over backwards to cater to me, right? Well to quote Alicia, "a real woman knows a real man always comes first, and a real man just can't deny a woman's worth". It's not that I can't take care of my woman, do everything she asks of me, or give fully of myself to her, it's that as a man I want to know such actions are appreciated, aren't taken for granted, and I know she isn't just with me because of what I do for her. There will always be another guy who comes along with better physical attributes, better clothing style, a nicer car, greater financial means, and more free time to spend with her so men want the safety and security that their woman isn't going to care. In return as a fair exchange, we won't care when a more attractive woman comes along who has her own money, doesn't need us to provide for her, take care of her, or cater to her because she's willing to take us out to dinner and get to know us, our interests, our dreams, our goals, and is willing to support us in our pursuit of them while showing us a little "sparkle" every day instead of demanding that we do more for her to convince her we really want to be with her when she isn't doing anything for us to convince us she wants to be with us.