Sometimes in the grand scheme of putting yourself out there to meet new people, evaluate prospective wives, mistresses, girlfriends, booty calls, and find the companionship we desire, it all becomes overwhelming and you need to take a break to refresh and recharge. I've taken breaks twice in the past, albeit both were planned for longer than they ended up being. Back in 2007, I took a 5 month break to finish getting over my rock bottom breakup a year prior. I came out of the break delving head first into the world of international dating where, if I boast for a quick second, I've set foot on 6 continents, had sex on 5, received road head on 4, said "I love you" in 3 languages besides English and meant it, and had 2 serious trans-continental relationships for about 1 year each. Then in 2009, I took a 3 month break to re-ground myself after coming within an 11 year age difference of getting married, moving to Brasil, and starting a family of Portuguese soccer players and psychologists. Instead, I relocated to New York City. Fast forward to the present and after a particularly draining experience I've decided to take another break which I'm calling a "self-imposed moratorium". These brief spells from dating and sex are as much about resolving the past as they are prepping for a more fulfilling future. It's not hard to get laid: meet new people, keep smiling, tell stories until they laugh, listen then respond, find common ground, keep buying food/drinks, break the touch barrier in a non-sleazy way, then voila, you seal the deal. Rewind, repeat until success. But after a while, it gets old. I've always been a believer in seeking deeper connections beyond physical attraction and a shared mutual orgasm. Of course when I decide to take a break it's like word gets out so past relationships, flings, and hookups always seem to come back around. I don't see this as a bad thing. I believe it validates the connection you once shared, however long or brief, and proves it was "real". After all, if you love something, let it go and if it comes back... Additionally, as was the case with that ex of 3 years who broke my heart and called me out of the blue 19 months later to meet on Christmas Eve to let me know she hoped we could get back together in 6 months when she planned to dump her current boyfriend and move back to Boston, it shows you how much you've grown and developed as a person. How you can make someone your world and don't think you could live without them and then their mere presence annoys you and you question what you ever found attractive about them in the first place. Otherwise, if you keep revisiting your past over and over again then where is your love life really headed?
*Originally posted on dailyenthusiast.net on December 16, 2013.